An epic journey featuring people selling vegetables, and some other things.

Hello! Or to use the equivalent local word, 'greetingski'.

Well we've arrived in Lviv, the main city of western Ukraine! Getting here was an epic journey in every sense of the word. 24 hours travelling across eastern Europe by train. Very little sleep. Christ. I'm knackered!

None of the signs here make sense to me cos they're written in the Cyrillic alphabet, but I'm pleased to see there is a man working on the counter at this internet caff who has a 1980s mullet a bit like Dr. Sanchez off Garth Marenghi's Dark Place. That familiar sight in this unfamiliar land has brightened my day.

So where did I leave off...? Oh yeah, on Wednesday evening my friend Katy and I went to an underground punk gig at an east Berlin squat (that, as I have already mentioned, has its own website... or should that be a websquat?). The place took a lot of finding, and we missed the first few bands, but it turned out to be a really great night!

The Kopi squat is a huge apartment block on a backstreet near the city centre, hidden from the world by a tall gate and covered on the inside with multi-coloured paintings and graffiti. We found it packed to the rafters with punks and assorted Germanic crusty types - my kind of people! There was a great atmos, a little bit like Blackpool "rock club" the Tache but one thousand times better!

There were hardcore punk bands playing in the central room, using an immense sound setup that cleaned the cobwebs right out of my eardrums let me tell you - and there was a bar selling bottles of beer and a stall selling CDs and records (these squatters think of everything)! The music wasn't really my cup of tea but I thought it was a great spectacle to see - you don't really get the same underground music/squatter thing going on in the UK which is a shame. F*ck tha man!

Yesterday we started the journey to Lviv, catching our first train from Berlin to Warsaw. Nothing much to say about that bit of the trip other than we passed lots of green and pleasant hills and lakes and stuff, and spent 2 hours stuck outside Frankfurt when the train broke down! They sent a replacement train to tow us to Warsaw.

This delay didn't really help cos we were cutting it fine making it on to our next train at Warsaw station. We ran round like headless chickens trying to book the sleeper carriage, which it turned out wasn't as simple as we'd first hoped. But after bribing a surly-looking railway guard on the platform with our leftover Euros, we were allowed access to the train with seconds to spare! (Another guy who wanted to get on the train was trying to bribe the guards with a software CD, and he wasn't having much luck. Crazy times! This episode taught me that 9 out of 10 communist officials prefer cash bribes.)

The journey to Kovel was great fun - we shared a rickety wooden carriage with a nice Polish man called George. As the train sidled through the inky-black outskirts of Warsaw the three of us got chatting in broken English. He was heading to the Ukraine too, to see his family. He was a great bloke - really generous. He bought Katy and I a black tea, and he unexpectedly produced half a roast chicken from his suitcase and shared it out! We then discovered his suitcase was full of contraband roast chickens - he explained poultry is much more expensive over the border in the Ukraine so he was taking his family some supplies. So there you go.

We all got a bit of sleep but then at 2am we reached the border and there was a lengthy stop while we scribbled our names into immigration forms. Then the train was winched up off the ground to get its wheels changed to a different gauge! I was excited about this wheel-changing but in hindsight I would describe the experience as like spending the night inside a garden shed while a friend bashes the walls with a sledgehammer.

This is one of the profound things I will be putting in my book when I write it.

We arrived in Kovel at around 7am local time. It was grey and wet and full of grannies on their way to market. We made friends with one old lady who was 86 years old! They were very curious to see some Westerners, let me tell you. Her and her granny mates were very nice and seemed to be offering us accomodation, which we sadly had to refuse. Our train to Lviv arrived eventually - we were now only 5 hours from Lviv!

Now, I don't know if you've ever been on an internal Ukranian rail journey before, so I'll assume you're new to this particular delight: it's a bit of a culture shock if you're used to leg-room and seats soft enough not to give you terminal piles. It was bloody amazing though. There was a family of buskers in our carriage singing songs to pay for their train ticket, people on their way to market selling vegetables, bundles of wood and other random goods (like stationery and make-up!), and people trading goods each other! The guards allow it all to happen; it's part of the local culture I guess. It was fantastic to watch but it got a bit tiring to be stuck in the middle of it!

We arrived in Lviv around lunchtime today. We're staying at a new hostel in the city centre called the Sun Hotel tonight, then tomorrow we're meeting up with a lady called Olka to start our two-week volunteer placement. Who can say what it will bring? The info we have on our placement is mysterious and vague. It involves restoring an old castle out in the countryside at a place called Zolochiv but we know nothing else.

I have to sign off now. It is getting late. If you made it to the bottom of this page, jolly well done, and thanks for bothering!

Ich bin ein Berliner!

Guten tag,

Berlin is ace. It's a fine city with great people. But it's raining lots. Yesterday we went on a tour with a nice Canadian woman who was a bit shouty, and looked at the Berlin Wall, which I thought was really interesting. We had a look round the city centre too. Later we went to the hostel quiz night and got trolleyed. Today we went on a short train ride to a place called Potsdam that was all pretty and had loads of castles and gardens and a windmill. We went inside the windmill to speak to the man. It's all really impressive.

Tomorrow, we're setting off on the next leg of our journey to the Ukraine. It's gonna take us - wait for it - 24 hours to get to Lviv by train. It is really bloody far. We're going via Warsaw, waiting a few hours, then catching an overnight train to somewhere or other in the north of the Ukraine, then boarding another train to Lviv tomorrow morning. To survive I'm just going to buy lots of alcohol and sit in the carriage singing bawdy songs about the seaside. I think this is a good Plan.

Tonight we're off to an underground punk gig at an east Berlin squat. This officially makes me cooler than Henry Winkler, i.e. the Fonz. The squat has been going for 17 years! There is no interesting stuff like this in England. I am very excited!

At the moment I am amused by the German word for Wednesday, Mittwoch. It sounds more like a blasphemous swear-word than a day of the week. Other than that I haven't been using my brain much.

My time is up so I'll have to dash. We're off for dinner at the Mexican across the road. See you later, bye bye, auf wiedersehn!! Peace and love.

Bondy :)

Spandau action

Hello there,

Another brief blog entry as I'm a bit pushed for time - we're in Berlin now. We arrived at the wonderfully-named Spandau station. The overnight train turned out not to be first class at all and we were forced to slum it and share our carriage with some shifty Belgians who turned up at midnight as we passed through Brussels.

Had a nice day yesterday - went up the Eiffel Tower and to the Pere Lachaise cemetry. It rained loads though. Berlin is nice. Everybody here is really helpful. We're staying at Hostel Circus, it's really good. We're going on a free tour round the city this afternoon. I will take pics, and when I can find a computer with a USB socket I will whack them on here.

Cheers, see you later!

One train-ride later...

I'm in Paris! Finally. There are some nice buildings and architecture but everything is chuffing expensive and there is a smell of wee. Mostly it's a cool place though.

I met up with Katy on Saturday and we're spending a couple of days doing sight-seeing, then tonight we're catching the night train to Berlin, first class!

Yesterday we saw the Bastille, Notre Dame and le Louvre. Today we're visiting the cemetry where Oscar Wilde and Jim Morrison were buried, then we're going up the Eiffel Tower.

Will write again soon. Ta'ra!

Have scythe, will travel!

Howdy y'all,

Well my second week at Chateau Brametourte has flown by. It's great to spend another week in this delightful part of the world but my placement is fast coming to an end. I leave tomorrow (Saturday), and I'm travelling from Toulouse to Paris on a TGV train, the sort that can cover a quarter of the globe in about 15 minutes - if you believe the French!

I'm definitely sad to go. I've had a great time here and met some wonderful people, who I hope to stay in touch with for a long time. But a leopard don't change it's spots, and after two weeks in these tranquil surroundings I'm ready to prowl the city streets like the buddha of Rock that I am, searching for fresh carrion.

I am meeting up with my good friend Katy in Paris, to start our month of travelling together - though she might struggle to recognise the sun-shrivelled fly-blown mess I have become. I have grown a bit of a beard again now that two weeks have passed without my chin seeing a razor. Also I have gone a couple of shades more brown, but that's mostly dirt. I've grown older and wiser.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of eastern Europe, though I'm wondering exactly what the Ukraine holds in store! 'Cheap as chips,' the Lonely Planet guide tells me, 'but don't drink the tapwater or dance provocatively with the locals - you will most likely be shot.' Having never been there, I have no choice but to believe them.

Despite these words of caution it promises to be great fun. I will be providing photographic evidence of all our escapades! (If you're wondering where I'm heading I've done another blog explaining it here.)

This week I have mostly been working outdoors, clearing space for vegetable allotments in the field known as the potager [1]. I have also been learning how to use a scythe [2]! (The picture shows me preparing to harvest the souls of some French peasant folk. I did get a bit carried away - thankfully not much damage was done.)

Part of the chateau's charm is how it teems with hidden wildlife, with bats flying through the rafters at night, and falcon chicks nesting in one of the upstairs rooms. Paul and Alison also keep several chickens, whose antics almost fill the void left by TV [3]!

I have no tales of dinner parties or open-air pools to entertain you with this week, though on Monday I went on a drive with Peter (one of the Australians) to a nice town called Albi [4] [5] [6] [7], which was the birthplace of Toulouse Lautrec. We had a look around at the amazing giant mutant cathedral of Sainte Cecile [8] [9] [10] and sat out at a cafe "watching girls go by", as per the Andy Williams song. That was fun. We felt at least 10% more cultured afterwards.

This week has been a mixed bag weather-wise. We caught the tail end of some of the nasty UK weather on Wednesday. I got caught in a torrential downpour while I was working, and I got all wet and pissed off. Today though, there has been brilliant sunshine and scorching temperatures. On a clear day like today you could see as far south as the Pyrenees and Andorra. They lie on the horizon like forbidden jewels.

I spent tonight attempting to cook dinner [11], then having a final meal with everyone [12] (left to right: Bin, Geoff, Paul and Alison). Tomorrow I'll be saying my goodbyes and hopefully looking forward to a long but very fast train journey. I'm not sure how soon I can do another update, as it depends if Katy & I pass an Internet cafe, but treat this as just the first slice of what will hopefully be a very intriguing travel pie.

Hope you are well, wherever you are this Christmas.

Much love and respec',
Bondy

Week 1 - from Chez Filth to Chez Tony, and beyond...

Bienvenue and welcome,

It's been a week since I left the shores of the UK for France - a momentous week which has seen England doused by torrential rainstorms, Gordon Brown become PM and smoking become illegal in pubs. Is it just me or have I managed to avoid a really crap week? Right now I am gloating as much as the devious French waiter who has found a discarded centime on the floor of his Bistro. (Notice how I'm picking up the lingo.)

The journey began last Saturday (23rd June), when my mates Laura and Anthony waved goodbye to me and my ginormous sack (oo er) from Manchester airport [1]. A quick two hours of planeage later, I arrived in Toulouse. As it was late I decided to search for a taxi so I could get to my hostel and hit the hay - a room was waiting for me at the wonderfully-named Chez Tony [2].

Despite said hostel lying only ten minutes down the road, the robbing b*****d taxi driver charged me 40 euros! I think this is what they call in France le rip-off. I was its latest victim. I felt encouraged that I was understanding French culture already, and once I got to my room [3] I ran myself a hot bath to celebrate.

I've got to give Chez Tony a thumbs up as my room was en suite, despite only being 35 euros per night. However there was no rubber duck to go in the bath; yet another terrible example of the animal cruelty that seems commonplace on the Continent.

The next day I caught a train over to Vielmur-sur-Agout (a village about an hour from Toulouse, in the Tarn area of France) where I met up with my WWOOF hosts Paul and Alison, who introduced me to Chateau Brametourte, where they live [4] [5] [6]. They are from England and for the last two years they have been working round the clock to restore this fantastic place to its former glories, whilst also setting it up as an organic farm.

At any one time they have a number of people staying with them in the chateau who help them renovate it, in exchange for board and food. It is a farming community and everyone lends a hand cooking, cleaning and working. Paul and Alison are being assisted this summer by Bin and Geoff, a great couple from Australia who are travelling round the world, plus Ryszard and Pavel (a father and son from Krakow in Poland). I've also met part of Alison's family (Dominic, Begonya and Tristan), and Bin and Geoff's friends Peter and Sarah, who are all really cool too.

On my first day Paul showed me round the nearby village of Lautrec and gave me a tour of the chateau and its many gardens. He showed me the ingenious well they use to water the Potager (vegetable garden) [7], the chateau's spiral staircase [8] [9], and the room where I would be sleeping (with my own four-poster bed!) [10]. Then we all sat down outdoors to admire the view [11], and enjoy cake and the finest wines available to humanity.

I was awestruck, like the poor grubby-nosed kid from the wrong side of the tracks that I am. It's fair to say that I'd forgotten the taxi driver incident. Even the rubber duck episode had lost its sting. I was deep in the French countryside and loving it!

WWOOFing is no holiday though, and I knew that from the outset. Once the last champagne cork heralding my arrival had popped, it was down to work. This week I have been quickly getting used to gruelling manual work, thirty degree heat, mosquitoes, nettles and snakes [12]. On Monday and Tuesday I helped Paul and Geoff dig out trenches for electric cabling in the attic, and for the rest of the week I have been busy excavating a historic part of the potager, which features a 700-year-old stone wall [13] and a famous fountain used in medieval pilgrimages [14]. After three days of clearing shrubs and trees, my arms now look like I've been arm-wrestling with Edward Scissorhands, but I honestly find this much more satisfying than office work. Plus the chicks dig a man who relishes pain.

I'm being very well looked after and after living off a diet of mostly junk food back home I am finally enjoying some wholesome vegetarian nosh. I've been out and about in the surrounding area lots too. On Wednesday we went to a local market at Realmont [15] [16] [17], visited an art gallery opening in Toulouse [18] [19] and nibbled upon fancy canapes (for future reference I recommend the prosciuto ham ones), and also saw some of Toulouse's sights and architecture [20] [21]. On Friday we were treated to a dinner party at a chateau belonging to friends of Paul and Alison [22] and swam in their pool! [23] [24] (I am the sexy one in the foreground.)

So I've got another week to go until it's time to leave for Paris. This week has flown by like you wouldn't believe. I have been trying to record as much of my experiences as I can, but also to enjoy the moment. At times it's been tough but I feel like I'm fitting in more and more with other the people here every day, and I hope I can make a positive contribution to Paul and Alison's work. Even the grubby-nosed pauper has his purpose in life.

Bondmeister over and OUT.